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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25184515">the tell-tale hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dagwic/pseuds/dagwic'>dagwic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>missing chapters and unsung sagas [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Enchanted Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Episode: s03e02 The Tears of Uther Pendragon (Part II), Episode: s03e03 Goblin's Gold, Episode: s03e04 Gwaine, Love Potion/Spell, Love spells are kinda awful, M/M, POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Morgana (Merlin), Pining Merlin (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:48:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25184515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dagwic/pseuds/dagwic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Morgana and Morgause's army of the dead is defeated and Cenred's army withdrawn, the two sisters decide something must be done about Arthur's infernally devoted servant. Morgana decides to enchant Merlin with a love spell so the prince would deem him unfit for duty. Imagine her surprise when the enchantment seems to make no difference...</p><p>(set in early s3, starting just after the events of The Tears of Uther Pendragon and ending before The Crystal Cave)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin &amp; Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>missing chapters and unsung sagas [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>347</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the wayward servant I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>Come on, Morgana. Please tell us about your ordeal in the vault again, I still can't quite believe it.</em></p><p>Uther, Arthur and Morgana were sat in the dining hall eating dinner. The previous night, Cenred's army and Morgause's army of the dead had sieged Camelot. Morgana, after a year spent training her magic with Morgause and planning their attack, had been tasked with raising the skeleton army from within the vaults. Their plan had almost worked, only thwarted by bad luck — the ceiling had caved in and knocked Morgana to the floor, allowing Merlin to destroy the necromantic staff. Thankfully, she had managed to take credit herself, but she was unhappy with the prospect of spending even longer hiding her true self.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Oh, it was nothing really.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Morgana, please.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Alright then.</em></p><p>She hoped that no-one was paying close attention — she didn't have much time to come up with an airtight alibi and she was worried that the story had changed since she originally told it.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I was passing the stairwell to the vault when a figure darted past me — I couldn't see who it was, but I had a feeling that something was wrong. When I got down to the vaults, there was a crowd of skeletons I had to fight my way past. I saw a staff embedded in the ground emanating a weird glowing light.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>A staff? What kind of staff was it? Merlin, could you fill my glass?</em></p><p>Morgana could see that Merlin wasn't paying attention to him. The grimace on his face suggested that he wasn't happy about her taking the credit for his achievements and was considering if it was worth risking his life to tell them she was lying.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>It was made of wood, certainly, but I wouldn't be able to name what tree it came from. The thing was clearly magical in origin.</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>Necromancy really is the most evil and degenerate form of sorcery. I dread to think that the traitor in our midst would stoop to such depravity. In the heart of the citadel no less.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Merlin? My wine?</em></p><p>Merlin finally snapped out of his vision and started pouring wine into his glass as Morgana continued.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Once I reached the staff, I pulled it from the ground and used it to drive back the next line of skeletons in a wide arc, before breaking the staff over my leg.</em></p><p>Merlin chuckled in what seemed like disbelief, spilling wine on Arthur in the process.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Merlin!</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>Is something funny, boy?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>No, not at all, sire. I just... hiccupped.</em></p><p>Arthur stood up and cuffed him around the head.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Can't you do anything right? Fetch me some dry clothes, unless you'll screw that up too.</em></p><p>Morgana sat in silence as Merlin bowed, whispered the word "<em>prat</em>" and left the room. Arthur turned back to the table, indignant.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I heard that! He really is the worst.</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>Then he shall be replaced. Has the boy always been this insolent?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>He's not <strong>insolent</strong>, he's just an idiot with no instinct for self-preservation. I don't need a new servant.</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>Nonsense. I see no reason why you should be forced to put up with him any longer.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I think he likes it, my lord.</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>What do you mean?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I think Arthur likes Merlin bossing him around. Makes him feel normal.</em></p><p>She knew that would wind up Uther to no end. The king had always resisted Arthur's many attempts to empathise with their subjects over the years.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I do <strong>not</strong>, I just—</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>How do you expect to rule over the people of Camelot if you let your servant treat you like one of his "mates"?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>We're not ma— I'm going to change into dry clothes. Merlin stays. End of story.</em></p><p>Arthur turned and left the dining hall, with half of his food still on his plate. She was secretly pleased to see the current and future king rowing like this, especially over Merlin.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>You know, maybe it's good for him to have a friend like Merlin.</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>A prince should be friends with his knights, not his servants.</em></p><p>She did not know how to respond, so she continued eating her dinner, ushering Gwen over to refill her goblet.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>My lady, did you finish telling your story?</em></p><hr/><p>In her favourite dark green cape, Morgana snuck out of the castle that night. She rode out into the darkling woods until she reached the pre-arranged clearing by foot.</p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>Sister. You wished to see me.</em></p><p>She turned around to see Morgause for the first time since their grand plan, a year in the making, had been thwarted.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>It is good to see you, sister.</em></p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>What troubles you?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>The serving boy, Merlin. I have convinced the court that I was responsible for destroying the staff but the boy still enjoys a close relationship with Arthur.</em></p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>You think he would tell the prince of your loyalties?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>He knows Uther would have him killed for poisoning me but I fear that he might risk his life to tell the court.</em></p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>Surely Arthur would not believe the word of a servant over yours?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>He is quite taken with the boy. I wouldn't be so quick to assume.</em></p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>When I questioned him in the woods, Merlin showed great devotion to his prince, without hope of reward. It's almost touching. I think our servant might be hiding something.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Merlin could barely hide a needle in a haystack. But his friendship with Arthur still concerns me.</em></p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>Then I think it's time we found a way to remove him from his post, don't you think?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Uther already wants the boy gone — it shouldn't be hard to get him dismissed for good.</em></p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>Excellent. Observe the servant and find out what he's willing to do for his precious prince.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. devotion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Morgana keeps an eye on Merlin during the events of Goblin's Gold and Gwaine to come up with the best way to enact her revenge on him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morgana observed Merlin as much as she could over the next few days without attracting attention. She, of course, knew that Merlin had grown closer to Arthur, but until she watched closely, she had not noticed the subtle changes in his behaviour.</p><p>One time, she was watching Arthur train on the fields outside the castle from the battlements. Merlin stood to the side, engrossed in his every move, almost hypnotised. At times, when he had landed a particularly good hit, Arthur would look back at Merlin with a quick smile. She saw Merlin try to shift his gaze away from the prince and wipe the smile from his face, but as soon as Arthur returned to his task, he would grin from ear to ear and return his attention to the spectacle. It was infuriating, almost cloying. At one point, Arthur seemed to trip on flat ground without reason and Merlin made some inaudible comment, getting an inevitable cuff on his neck or friendly shove on his arm from the smiling prince.</p><p>Other times, she would spot Merlin in the prince's bedroom, diligently attending to the bedsheets or folding his clothes or correcting his paperwork. In these moments, she saw no sign of the insolent servant from the dining hall. He was clumsy, of course, but he worked with a care and affection that matched her own maid.</p><p>But above all, she saw the devotion of the servant who was once a trusted ally, who she had confided in over a year ago, who had introduced her to the druids, and who chose to poison her only a few weeks later, pledging his affiliation with Uther and the unjust genocidal persecution of her people.</p>
<hr/><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Do you really think Merlin is a sorcerer, my lady?</em></p><p>It was evening and she was brushing Morgana's hair in front of a mirror in her bedroom. At this point, these extraordinary incidents had become the new ordinary in the castle. This wasn't even the first time Merlin had been accused of sorcery in public (though it was the first time he was in the dungeons for it). That said, she wished she was the one behind Uther's hair loss — she felt a great deal of satisfaction from seeing her former guardian feel ashamed, as she had for so long.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I don't know, Gwen. I hardly think Gaius is being controlled by a goblin. Do they even exist?</em></p><p>She was, of course, lying. From her experience in the physician's quarters, Morgana was fairly certain he had been possessed by a goblin and she only hoped Gaius hadn't detected her "evil" intent like the goblin had. But she had no problem with Merlin burning — he wasn't actually a sorcerer and his execution might put Arthur at odds with his father. She could even do with seeing more mayhem, though ideally not directed at herself again.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>I don't know, but it seems more likely than Merlin pulling those pranks on the court.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I know Merlin is your friend, Gwen, but he can be... impertinent at times. How do you know he doesn't harbour resentment against the king?</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>The king, maybe. But I hardly believe he would embarrass the two of us like that in front of the council and Arth-... Never mind.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Go on, Gwen.</em></p><p>Gwen took a second to pause her brush-strokes and think about how to phrase what she meant. <em>She was partially right</em>, thought Morgana, <em>that Merlin would never have embarrassed her in front of Arthur</em>, but she couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness that his devotion no longer applied to herself.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>My lady, Prince Arthur is very protective of Camelot and of Uther. I believe that Merlin's care for Arthur extends to that which he holds dear.</em></p><p>Morgana turned away from the mirror to face her maid.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>You think he cares for the prince? Not a few days ago he spilt wine on him and called him a "prat".</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>I think... that the two of them care for each other more than they are willing to admit. Maybe the insults are overcompensating for that, so they don't put each other off.</em></p><p>A gear clicked in Morgana's brain. She smiled.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Being a man sounds exhausting.</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Agreed, my lady.</em></p><p>Of course, the goblin was eventually forced out of Gaius and Merlin was, unfortunately, pardoned by the king. Arthur appeared relieved, though Morgana could see that Merlin would not pass up the opportunity to poke fun at the "royal ass".</p><p>The goblin's spell left a residual bray in Arthur's throat for another day, rearing its head at untimely moments. During the morning's council meeting, Arthur tried — and failed — to stifle his heehawing yawn.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong> (to Gwen): <em>Someone woke up on the wrong side of the stable.</em></p><p>Gwen almost laughed, but stopped herself when it became apparent that the entire council had heard the comment, prompting Arthur to angrily (and whinnyingly) force Merlin chuckling from the room. Morgana could not tell if he was genuinely upset but she could see he was trying desperately to save face in front of Uther, who looked unimpressed at Merlin's antics.</p><p>Later, however, she oversaw Merlin in Arthur's bedroom holding his hands up behind his ears with one hand "flopped" down.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Sire, can you guess who I am?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Merlin, it isn't funny.</em></p><p>Arthur looked down at the papers on his desk, trying to hide his smile, which disappeared briefly when he noticed Merlin's corrections. But rather than saying anything about them, he just moved the papers into a pile and sat down at the table. Merlin put his hands down from his ears and continued laying lunch as he replied:</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>See, that's where you're wrong. They say all tragedy is comedy in retrospect.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>The only tragedy here is your sense of humour.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>In my defence, that council was a terrible audience. I could face being thrown out of a few more of those meetings.</em></p><p>Arthur scoffed, with a grin on his face, before picking up a goblet and throwing it at Merlin's head. As he looked up, Arthur saw Morgana standing in the doorway and she saw the smile disappear fom his lips. Typical. Nauseating. She couldn't wait to see them at each other's throats.</p>
<hr/><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Morgana. How lovely to see you. What can I do for you?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I was hoping to collect my sleeping draught for tonight. Since when do you keep your door locked?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Since a certain topless tavern-hopper moved in. Have you met Gwaine, my lady?</em></p><p>Morgana knew that certain people in the castle (particularly Arthur) had a habit of barging straight into the physician's chambers. She had also heard from Arthur about Gaius's newest guest and their adventures in the tavern brawl.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Not yet, but I hear he has my accent. Maybe he's from Caerleon's kingdom.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>I suppose he must be.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I hope he hasn't been causing you any trouble.</em></p><p>She was still nervous around Gaius — he was very close to Merlin and may even have known about his attempts to kill her. He had also suppressed her magical abilities for years before they grew too strong, a fact Morgause had uncovered around three weeks into her recovery from her poisoning. Never mind the fact that, just a few days before, a goblin occupying Gaius's form had told her she had a heart of evil.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Me? No. I do worry Arthur might kill Merlin if he stays any longer with all the bills he racks up.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>And how is Arthur coping with Merlin's new "friend"?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>I dare say he might be missing Merlin's attention. Gwaine seems to have taken a particular shine to Merlin and it's obvious Merlin feels the same.</em></p><p>As he finished his second sentence, Gaius had a strange look on his face, as if he had spoken out of turn. Or that he had said more than he had intended.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Will that be all, my lady?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>That will be all, thank you Gaius.</em></p><p>After the melee finished and Uther upheld Gwaine's banishment, Morgana saw Merlin and Gwaine sitting on the steps in the castle courtyard. She thought back to what Gaius had said, about how Gwaine's presence had put strain on Arthur and Merlin's relationship, and considered whether she should have tried to persuade the king to overturn his decision. After all, despite Merlin's apparent impertinence, he was still performing his duties as a manservant adequately. Perhaps diverting Merlin's attention away from his work would make him insolent <em>and</em> negligent. It was too late to change anything now, regardless.</p><p>The courtyard was busy and loud, so she couldn't make out their conversation from where she was stood. She could, however, see what Gaius had been talking about. The men were clearly fond of each other and felt no need to hide their appreciation behind sarcasm or insult. What Gwen had said about Arthur and Merlin's friendship stood out in her memory — their friendship was fundamentally different than what she could see now. Merlin rested his head on Gwaine's shoulder, with a solemn look on his face, and said something Morgana didn't hear. Gwaine looked down at Merlin and gently hugged the servant to himself and gave a reply that made Merlin chuckle.</p><p>She started to feel sorry for them both, suffering as many have at Uther's stubbornness. Then she remembered how Merlin had betrayed her and that he knew of her true allegiance and her pity quickly dissipated.</p><p>The time had come for action, she thought. Merlin would be upset about Gwaine's departure, so if she wanted to prove him incompetent, she should act now. And, from what she had observed over the past week, Morgana now had a plan.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>small a/n: this is my first fic but it's already finished. I'll edit and update on fridays and mondays, but the next chapter is where the plot rly gets going :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. the wayward servant II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Against the advice of Morgause, Morgana enchants Merlin with a love spell to try to get him removed from his position.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>And why do you think charming him is the best way to achieve that?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Their friendship is dependent on emotional distance: insults and insubordination. If Merlin betrays that contract, Arthur is far more likely to agree with Uther that their closeness is inappropriate. And he couldn't be seen to keep a servant who's doting on him, even if he wanted to.</em></p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>Sister, love spells are unpredictable — this plan leaves too much to chance. Why not just tell Uther that he poisoned you? You forget you hold great influence over the king.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>We must also turn Arthur against him to be certain of his dismissal. No other method would ensure he wouldn't try to rescue the boy and return him to service.</em></p><p>She could tell that Morgause was unconvinced by this argument. As time had passed since their defeat in Camelot, she had become less interested in the prospect of risking Morgana's position in the court just to remove Merlin from his post.</p><p><strong>Morgause</strong>: <em>I will help you with this "stunt", sister, but only because I wish to help in all your magical endeavours. I only hope you know the boys as well as you think you do.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I will not fail you.</em></p><p>However, Morgana wasn't able to conjure a love spell yet — that was the magic of diligent study, not the innate abilities she had been honing over the past year. Morgause looked down on the use of spell books, seeing them as a crutch for sorcerers with weak abilities. <em>Magic should be learnt through practice from a fellow sorcerer</em>, she would say, <em>not from dusty volumes by incoherent scribes.</em> While Morgana trusted her methods entirely, she occasionally wished she could see the processes written down instead of having to keep them held in memory until they were practised enough to be instinctive. This was one of those times: Morgause tried to teach her eleven ways to invoke a love enchantment, each of which had a slightly different effect, duration and cure, but the evening was late and her memory could not hold them all. By the time she returned to her quarters, Morgana could only remember four spells.</p><p>Three of them involved the placing of a charmed poultice under Merlin's pillow, though their herbal constitution varied. The fourth was difficult to forget, if only because it was clearly the most ridiculous of all, involving the collection of a fluid of Arthur's she'd rather avoid. She also ruled out one of the poultices because it required her to cut off some of Arthur's hair which, given his obsession with his appearance, would risk being noticed.</p><p>This left her with two poultices she could make with equal ease, but each with a significant downside (<em>the old religion's insistence on balance in all things would be the death of her,</em> she thought). The first charm had the benefit that it could only be cured with the use of magic, but the downside that it only lasted for a short time. The second lasted indefinitely, but the enchantment could be broken by "the confession of an unspoken truth". Morgana did not like the idea that Merlin could gain anything from spilling secrets that she would rather he kept silent, so she decided upon the temporary enchantment in the hopes that it would last for a few days as Morgause had suggested.</p><p>The required herbs and plants were easily found in the kitchens, bar one, which she found on Gaius's shelves as she snuck into the (now unlocked) physician's chambers. Thankfully, when she opened the door to Merlin's room, she found him snoring and unconscious. She thought it ridiculous that she had been defeated by someone so... <em>delicate</em>. Behind his innocent and incompetent appearance was a treacherous heart, she reminded herself, before placing the poultice and whispering the phrase she had been practising all night.</p><p>After a few misfires, she was heartened to see a sparkling red cloud rise through the pillow and smother Merlin's face. It smelt like roses, and metal polish, and a hint of marjoram.</p><hr/><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Good afternoon, my lady. I hope you slept well.</em></p><p><em>Afternoon</em>? Morgana thought. She must have overslept, having spent so much of last night with Morgause, then preparing the spell.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Why didn't you wake me earlier, Gwen? I have some business to attend to.</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>I'm sorry, my lady. It's— It's just that you so rarely sleep so deeply, I thought it best to let you recuperate. I've left some evening attire on the stool behind your screen.</em></p><p>Oh, Gwen. As she stepped behind the screen and changed, she thought of how glad she was that there was at least someone in this castle with her best interests in mind. When Uther's defeat finally came, she knew she could count on Gwen's support — after all, Uther had killed her father in his hatred of sorcery too — and maybe she could even be an advisor to Morgause's new court. Of course, she was attached to Merlin and Arthur and maybe she would fight back against her on their behalf, but once they had been dealt with, she would have no-one left but Morgana and they would finally be inseparable. How she longed for the day when she could show Gwen how wonderful magic could be and share her gift with her loyal maid.</p><p>But that day was long away. Morgana knew how many hurdles stood in their way, the first of which being the now love-sick Merlin.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Why thank you Gwen. I don't suppose you know what Arthur has been doing today?</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Oh... Arth-... I don't know, my lady.</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong> (suddenly remembering): <em>He trained with the knights in the morning!</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>He does that every morning, Gwen. I was hoping you could be more specific?</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>I hope you don't mind my asking, but why do you want to know?</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>Oh, nothing really. I meant to have a conversation with him but I can find him on my own. Thank you, Gwen.</em></p><p>As she emerged from behind the screen, Gwen gave her a suspicious glance, but with an unmistakable smile on her lips that proved she had no inkling of the truth, and left her chambers. <em>The time for truth will come.</em></p><p>Arthur, and by extension Merlin, was proving remarkably difficult to track down. The fact that Gwen hadn't mentioned Merlin's newfound infatuation with the prince was worrying, but now at least she could see the action in person which would be much more exciting than hearing it second-hand (as much as she loved listening to the sound of Gwen's voice). She just needed to find the damned boys first.</p><p>What does Arthur even do during the day? They weren't in his quarters, which showed evidence of another bout of throwing things at each other but no more than usual. They weren't on the training fields, or the battlements, or (according to the stable hands) on patrol. They weren't in the council chambers, or the dining hall. She even went into the library as a desperate last ditch effort — much to Geoffrey's bemusement — but no, Arthur hadn't suddenly developed a passion for poetry overnight.</p><p>Maybe she should be looking for Merlin instead. It was unlikely she would find Arthur accompanying him during his chores but she'd at least find out how the enchantment had worked. She'd heard many of the chores Arthur had listed off over the years whenever he could get the opportunity to: <em>sharpen my sword</em>, <em>polish my boots</em>, <em>launder my clothes</em>, <em>refill my ink pots</em>, <em>muck out the horses</em>, <em>polish my armour.</em></p><p>Morgana stood outside the door to the armoury with an ear cupped to the door. She heard two muffled voices from inside, but couldn't make out what they were saying. She craned further to the door (<em>note to self: ask Morgause for a spying spell next time you see her</em>) and was almost knocked out by its sudden opening. Disappointingly, Leon and one of the younger squires bounded out of the door, too enthralled in their own conversation about... shields?... to notice any useless spies sprawled on the floor outside.</p><hr/><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>So, Arthur, busy day?</em></p><p>To the untrained eye, Arthur was the picture-perfect prince — his hair was even combed today and he engaged enthusiastically in conversation with Uther, which is no mean feat when he starts on one of his rants. But Morgana could see that his eyes looked vacant and grey when he smiled. Not to mention that his servant looked even more of a mess than usual, like a tornado had ripped straight through his body. His neckerchief was askew, his frowning face had tell-tale signs of dirt near his temples where he had failed to adequately wash it off. His hands were red and his boots muddy. They <em>had</em> left the castle, then.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>No, not busy at all. I had training with the knights in the morning.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>You have training every morning, Arthur.</em></p><p>She glanced and grinned a little at Gwen, who surreptitiously stifled a giggle.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>...then when training finished, I decided to go on patrol with some of the knights.</em></p><p>(<em>Liar.</em>)</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>You know, it was funny actually. At one point, we heard a rustling of leaves and thought "bandits", right. You should have seen the look on Merlin's face, he was terrified. We all stood still as the sound got closer and it was just a rabbit! Merlin, cowering in fear over a tiny rabbit, like a girl.</em></p><p>No-one in the room found it funny. Uther because Arthur was talking about his servant like one of his friends, Morgana and Gwen because Arthur used <em>girl</em> as an insult (you can bet they both shot him <em>that</em> look), and Merlin because — well, Morgana thought it was obvious why Merlin was upset, until he spoke.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Then they took it upon themselves to hunt the rabbit for the next hour. Poor creature.</em></p><p><strong>Uther</strong>: <em>Merlin, if we wanted the input of a servant, we would have asked for it. And Arthur, going on patrol isn't an excuse to go hunting with your servant. If he <strong>was</strong> a girl, I'd be worried you were courting.</em></p><p>Arthur almost spat out his wine. (And if someone did a small mental spell to force some into Uther's gross face, she was none the wiser.)</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Father!</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>I don't know, my lord. You've seen how close they are. Maybe they <strong>are</strong> courting.</em></p><p>Dinner wrapped up not long afterwards. After Arthur and Merlin left, nobody knew what to say, so the silence had been overbearing, like an insidious chill. Morgana collapsed in the chair by her vanity in her room, feeling the full weight of her failure on her shoulders. Despite her petty victory at the end, the spell clearly hadn't worked. Merlin was just as impolite as ever and, if anything, seemed to like the prince even less than before. Uther's outburst at the boys would only solidify their united front against him, rather than turn Arthur to his side. This was her own fault for choosing the poultice with the short duration — Morgause had said it should last a few days but also that love spells were fickle. This one hadn't even lasted the night, clearly.</p><p>There was no way she could go back to Morgause empty-handed. She had to know that she could plan and execute these plans herself, and prove herself a worthy contributor to her sister's machinations. But what else could she do? If she tried to enchant Merlin again with the other poultice, he could undo the enchantment <em>and</em> prove to the court that Morgana was a traitor by revealing the truth. Nevermind the fact that Arthur would probably be relieved to see Merlin less angry with him after the events of today's hunt, and might forgive a bit of pining from his put-upon servant.</p><p>No, she would have to try another path.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. the third enchantment of arthur pendragon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>or</p><p>'The Unexpected and Suspicious Materialisation of an Impossible Dream'</p><p>or</p><p>'Arthur becomes a Big Helpless Bisexual Himbo'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merlin was feeling impatient. Arthur's breakfast couldn't possibly be taking this long. So what the kitchen had assumed he would be late like usual and changed their schedule accordingly. He wasn't late <em>today</em> — in fact, he had been running early up until this point, all so he could spend an extra half hour waiting outside the kitchens. Time that could be spent in the comfort of his own bed.</p><p>Though, after his dream the previous night, Merlin knew better than to let himself sleep too long.</p><p>It was for his own sake, really. The night Gwaine left, his subconscious had retreated back to a state he hadn't had to deal with for years and had <em>spent a long time trying to get rid of, thank you very much</em>. He didn't understand why his feelings (if you could even call them that!) had resurfaced again at such an inopportune time. It really looked like things were getting started between Gwen and Arthur and he was definitely 100% at peace with that. (Not just because he had no other option...)</p><p>But, no, of course it couldn't be that simple. Of course, his stupid gay steamroller of a heart had decided that it was time to fall in love with Arthur again.</p><p>He didn't remember the dream, not fully. But he remembered how it had made him feel and having to change his sheets in the morning. Then he remembered how Arthur had come back from training and insisted that they go on a trip into the woods and how he couldn't stop his gay monkey-brain imagining the romantic picnic Arthur was planning, or the way that they'd glance at each other knowingly across a forest glen and he'd be swept into Arthur's ar—</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>It's an arcane judicial device. It is held by one of the druid communities due north-west of Camelot. We're to capture it and keep it safe in the castle vaults.</em></p><p>Ah yes, Camelot's vaults. Completely impenetrable. Nothing can get in or out. Nothing at all. Definitely the best place to hide something you don't want people to have access to. Guarded by, at most, two guards and locked with two paltry padlocks. What could go wrong?</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Apparently, powerful sorcerers can use it to compel the truth out of a person and I don't need to tell you why we cannot risk it falling into the hands of Camelot's enemies.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Got something to hide then? A secret mistress?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Shut up Merlin.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>A secret mister?! I mean, I'm fine with it, but I dread to think what your father w—</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I said shut up, Merlin.</em></p><p>For once, Merlin actually agreed with him. Where was this all coming from? It was as though his mouth was insistent on flirting on behalf of his gay hindbrain. He knew he was pouting, but he couldn't bring himself to stop.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>If you don't want me to talk, then why do you even bring me on these trips?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Because I need someone to carry my stuff while I save the kingdom. Again.</em></p><p>He wanted to be offended, but the smile Arthur threw over his shoulder made it impossible. Merlin had always felt a bit embarrassed at how basic his taste in men was. But he had to admit there was something classically beautiful about the man, like a Greek statue he'd seen in one of his books. And as much as he hated to admit it to himself, Arthur could be a kind person underneath it all, though that assessment usually changed not long after he started mucking out the stables (which is really not a manservant's job by any stretch of the imagination).</p><p>The rest of the day had passed in the expected fashion, which is to say that Arthur had nearly died several times and Merlin had saved him heroically, then Arthur had decided to terrorise a poor rabbit on the way back for no apparent reason other than bloodlust. And if anything could temper his earlier "heatedness", animal cruelty would do it.</p><p>Considering it now, though, he wondered if being angry at Arthur was really all that different from wanting to push him up against a tree and kiss him.</p><p>Once Merlin finally got his tray from one of the cooks (who looked particularly irritated with him this morning, even though <em>he was on time actually</em>), he made his way to Arthur's chambers. He decided he didn't like Arthur at all now, and really he could do with eating a bit less dairy, so Merlin jammed as much cheese as he could into his mouth on the journey. By the time he'd arrived, he still had a cheek full and stood outside the door, mechanically chewing for a bit. The guards gave him a strange look, so he felt the need to make a circling gesture with his hand as if to say <em>give me a second, this cheese is a real bitch</em>.</p><p>Eventually he gave up and barged in, still chewing. He actually felt a bit sick — cheese was a rarity in Ealdor and Gaius seemed morally opposed to the stuff, so he wondered if he'd actually ever eaten that much before. Regardless, a little bit of nausea was worth it to prove it to himself that he could still stick it to Arthur, even if his stomach fluttered and his knees felt hollow at the mere thought of him.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong> (muffled with cheese): <em>Rise and shine, your pratness.</em></p><p>As he swallowed the last bit, he was surprised to see that the curtains had already been drawn somewhat open, if not fully. The bed was in a complete state, with the sheets poking in any and all directions, to the point that he couldn't even tell if Arthur was in it or not. Even worse, when he went to put down his tray on the dining table, he saw that someone had already brought breakfast.</p><p>First of all, <em>how dare they.</em> Second of all, <em>who even eats this much</em>? Arthur was known for his appetite, sure, but this was ridiculous and honestly kind of offensive. There were plates of at least five different meats, three cheeses, exotic fruits usually only served at feasts, four different breads — and is that wine? Nobody in Camelot would eat this much food for dinner, never mind breakfast.</p><p>Then Merlin noticed that two places had been set on the table. <em>Lucky Gwen, I suppose.</em></p><p>He was tempted to up and leave there and then, but he still had matters to attend to. How completely typical for Arthur to promise a romantic breakfast for Gwen in his own quarters, then get Merlin to tidy the entire room for him without any warning. He was furious, because he decided that was better than being hopelessly lovelorn or bitter. He placed the tray down on the table and moved over to start undoing the consequences of whatever gross nocturnal activities Arthur had been enjoying on his bed, when he heard the door open behind him.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>My love, my destiny, my gorgeous friend! Have I told you how your eyes remind me of the skies and the sea and the deepest blue of the... blueberry?</em></p><p>Merlin turned around to see a thoroughly dishevelled Arthur, wearing his tunic inside-out, tracking mud into his chambers (that he'd have to clean later) and clutching... a fistful of weeds?</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Arthur, what the fuck are you carrying?</em></p><p>At the mention of his name, the prince of Camelot — who had no right to look attractive in the first place — gave Merlin a look which he'd seen only two nights before in <em>that</em> dream and bowed to him.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>They're flowers.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Those aren't flowers, you parsnip. What's happened, why are you trying to be all romantic? Did you say something dickish to Gwen again?</em></p><p>As he spoke, Arthur approached him, setting off a million alarms in his brain that told him he was in danger — or maybe that he was horny — and held out the weeds up in his dirt-covered hand.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Come on, you need to wash up before she gets here. You look like an absolute mess. When I said you couldn't dress yourself, I didn't actually think it was true.</em></p><p>Merlin took the weeds and threw them to the side and started to take off his tunic, when he noticed that Arthur was moving even closer to him, way into his personal space, and so close it was basically impossible to move the tunic up over his shoulders. He saw Arthur's eyes dart to his lips and his hand move towards the back of Merlin's neck—</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I never noticed how dark your hair is.</em></p><p>He managed to push Arthur just away enough to pull the tunic off, but then the prince kept moving closer again, this time with his, admittedly well-defined, torso on full display. Merlin internally chastised himself for not moving away from the heat of Arthur's body being pressed closer to his own against the bedpost.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>It's like a piece of coal, or a cave without a torch, or like blood pudding, or the dungeons without a torch.</em></p><p>As he replied, Merlin snapped out of whatever-the-fuck-this-was and started striding to the table.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>You really need to get better at this whole simile thing. There's books on it in the library if you ever went.</em></p><p>He was fighting every gay instinct in his body by moving away, but Arthur kept following him, topless, with those eyes and —</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Do you like the breakfast? I awoke before dawn to get the cooks to prepare it for us. If you don't want it, I can get them to take it back.</em></p><p><em>Oh God, the breakfast was for me?</em> Merlin thought. <em>Is that why the cooks hated me this morning?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>D- Don't fuck with me like this, Arthur. What's going on?</em></p><p>Arthur just smiled keenly at him, like he was drunk or had eaten some of the mushrooms Gaius had warned him about.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Honestly, I liked it more when you hated me.</em></p><p>(<em>Liar.</em>)</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong> (to himself): <em>Fucking prophecies.</em></p><p>Merlin knew he had to do something fast — Arthur needed to be dealt with, so he did the first thing that came to mind, and knocked some sense into him (with a thick tome on the History of Camelot).</p><hr/><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>And you're sure it's a love spell?</em></p><p>With Arthur safely unconscious on his bed, Merlin had gone straight back to the physician's quarters to retrieve his notes from the last two times Arthur had been enchanted, and because being around someone like Gaius stopped his brain from reliving the feeling of the prince pressed up against him by the bed with a look he'd never seen on Arthur's face, especially not directed at Merlin.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I don't know what else it could be. He might be a pillock, but he isn't thick. The man had clearly spent hours this morning picking weeds as if they were flowers.</em></p><p>In a way, he found Arthur's newfound simplicity quite endearing. One of his greatest flaws had been his arrogance, his assumption that he was better than those around him (though Merlin understood that, unlike his bullies back home, Arthur's confidence wasn't entirely unfounded).</p><p>Gaius, with his ever-trusty eyebrow in full display, tutted to himself.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>But what would a sorcerer stand to gain from enchanting him with <strong>you</strong>? No offence, Merlin, but Camelot's hardly going to start a war over you. And if they wanted Arthur to look like a homosexual, I don't understand why they'd choose such an obvious target.</em></p><p>As he finished his last sentence, Merlin saw another one of Gaius's deferent looks — he usually reserved it for when he had accidentally overstepped his position when talking to Uther, and was desperately hoping he would be ignored.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Obvious target?! What's that supposed to mean?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Nothing, Merlin.</em></p><p>He paused, as though he was internally debating whether he should speak further.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>I do, well, wonder who might have had the power and clearance to achieve such an enchantment — they would need both magical talent and access to the prince's chambers. And as you well know that's hardly a popular combination here in Camelot.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>What are you suggesting, Gaius?</em></p><p>Gaius chuckled and shook his head at Merlin. What was he on about? He looked far too amused at the situation, as if he'd already figured out exactly what had happened and had decided it wasn't his problem anymore. Merlin knew better than to try to get his conclusions out of him when he was like this, so he switched tack.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>God, I hate love spells. Why do there have to be so many?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>We should be lucky your spellbooks contain so many — and that we've already had to look through them already. You've already done half the work.</em></p><p>At least he had the list. The research had been gruelling, but he had managed to categorise the hundreds of spells into different categories. Gaius had insisted that, even once the Lady Vivian had long since left Camelot, Merlin should write up his findings for future reference. As much as he had hated doing it (and he now hated admitting it), Gaius had been right.</p><p>The first page of these notes listed, in scrawled ciphered lettering, the most common ways love spells could be cured:</p><ol>
<li>Destruction/removal of charm</li>
<li>True love's kiss</li>
<li>Countercharm (<em>see codex with red cover</em>)</li>
<li>Death of enchanter/-ress</li>
<li>Death of enchantee (<em>not much of a cure, really</em>)</li>
<li>Poison (<em>see #4, #5, #10</em>)</li>
<li>Wait a bit</li>
<li>"Consummation" (<em>druidic marriage charm</em>)</li>
<li>Confession (<em>O.R., scantily attested, "wingless"?</em>)</li>
<li>Tears of remorse (<em>troll magic — speak to G.D.</em>)</li>
</ol><p>Looking over the list and reminiscing on Vivian's visit, Merlin realised that Gwen had, conveniently, gone on a trip with Morgana just this morning, in recognition of her heroism in defeating Morgause's army at Samhain. That could hardly be a coincidence, but Merlin was still struggling to reconcile Morgana's betrayal with his fond memories of her from before Morgause had arrived. He was still wracked with guilt over poisoning her — he'd spent the entire year of her absence debating all the ways he could have avoided such a fate.</p><p>But what if Kilgharrah was right? What if she was now destined to be an enemy of Camelot?</p><p>What he couldn't understand at all was why she would have targeted Arthur. She might have had her quarrels with Uther over the years (many of which Merlin sympathised with) but she had always loved Arthur like a brother. She knew — she <em>had</em> known that Arthur was a better man than his father, but maybe that wasn't enough for Morgause.</p><p>They finally reached Arthur's chambers to see the breakfast still laid on the table and the bed still an overexcitable mess, but this time definitely without an occupant.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Merlin, where's Arthur?</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:))))))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. reckoning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Merlin sets out to undo the enchantment while keeping Arthur away from his official duties (and Uther).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur was proving remarkably difficult to track down. They had only left him for a short time and he just <em>had</em> to go <em>wandering</em> off into the castle, half-dazed and completely incompetent.</p><p>Merlin had a good idea of the places Arthur would <em>normally</em> be. There wasn't a council meeting today, but they checked anyway. In his current state, he wouldn't be on the training fields, but they checked anyway. They checked the armoury, then the stables — all his armour was still in its place, and neither his official nor his unofficial "I'm-going-on-a-secret-mission" horse was missing.</p><p>Throughout their search, Merlin bumped into many people who weren't Arthur. He didn't even realise how many people around the castle wanted to speak to him and Gaius. Normally, he supposed, he'd be happy to waste time.</p><p>First was Sir Leon, who cornered him by the battlements to get him to prepare Arthur's bows for training tomorrow (Merlin knew that Arthur hated archery, and that Leon always had to force it upon him). He then, much more graciously, asked Gaius if he could get a salve for a popped blister.</p><p>Next, by the stairwell, they ran into the mapmaker, Lord Gerard, and his apprentice Eoghan, who nervously asked Merlin if he could possibly return the map of historic druid settlements Arthur had made him fetch yesterday. This provoked a stern glance from Gaius, who should really have been paying attention to the ongoing discussions on the complications of Gerard's gout.</p><p>After further encounters with the king (angry), the blacksmith (burnt herself) and the cook (angry <em>and</em> burnt herself), they finally arrived at the library. Merlin hoped that maybe Arthur had taken his earlier comment literally and he'd find him crouched over some Latin love poetry or a guide to metaphor. He tried to ignore how his heart fluttered at the idea.</p><p><strong>Geoffrey</strong>: <em>Oh, the prince was in here earlier, yes. He seemed a bit... out of spirit.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>That's putting it lightly, Geoff. I'll tell you all about it in due course.</em></p><p><strong>Geoffrey</strong>: <em>Come on, I'm sure your apprentice can find the prince by himself. I have wine?</em></p><p>And, to Merlin's disgust, the librarian <em>winked</em>.</p><p>No, he didn't have the headspace to process whatever-the-hell-that-was, or the fact that Gaius did in fact stay with Geoffrey. He just needed to find Arthur and undo the enchantment so they could go back to the way things were. But an insidous thought crept into the back of his mind — <em>what if things didn't go back to how they were?</em></p><p>Within seconds of Merlin arriving back to Gaius's chambers, alone and defeated, he found where Arthur had been hiding. He felt arms tighten around his waist, a warm body pressed up against his back, lips against his neck—</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Arthur, what are you doing?</em></p><p>His body took a second to take in what was happening before his conscious brain could tell it to push away and turn around. He saw that Arthur had put his tunic on correctly now and that his hair had been tidied and combed down. The prince was also holding a piece of blue fabric in his hand, which he quickly moved to hide behind his back when he noticed that Merlin was looking.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I wanted to apologise for my actions this morning. It was entirely discourteous of me to try to court you without announcing my intention with a gift.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>A gift?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>To match your eyes.</em></p><p>At least he seemed to have developed a brain over the past hour. He produced a head of bluebells and daffodils and held them out with a tentative hand, averting his eyes at first, before looking straight into Merlin's soul and reminding him that his lips were, in fact, very dry.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Um, Arthur, my eyes aren't yellow.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Not right now. But sometimes I think I see a deep gold, like the setting sun, as if it's hiding behind a screen.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>And what about the fabric behind your back?</em></p><p>Arthur gave him a "you got me" look and produced a fine blue neckerchief with a thin gold trim and, in one corner, the emblem of a merlin in flight. It was gorgeously sewn, and the material was so soft that his neck already itched under his old cloth rag from Ealdor. He was incredibly touched, then disappointed that it was borne from false emotions. <em>Though</em>, he thought, <em>if this enchantment helped Arthur become a better gift-giver, maybe it would be worth investing in doing it again next Samhain.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Do you like it?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I— I love it.</em></p><p>Arthur beamed, and he knew that he was feeling emotions he was trained to repress throughout his entire childhood. Merlin had never seen Arthur express his joy this freely and it broke his heart.</p><p>Before he could realise what was happening, Arthur had stepped forward, placed his hand in the nape of Merlin's neck and pressed their lips together. Momentarily, Merlin could feel nothing but the movement of his mouth in conjunction with Arthur's and the hand gently placed on his back pushing them closer—</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Wait, this isn't right. I can't do this. You're not... I can't.</em></p><p>Arthur's hands had moved away instantly, but they were still standing an inch away from each other, breathing deeply in unison. His smile disappeared, but he didn't look entirely dejected. If anything, he looked confused.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>But I thought you loved me?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I d— Arthur, it isn't fair, I'm sorry. I can't even t— Oh God, what have I done?</em></p><p>Merlin moved a few inches away, only to feel Arthur's hand on his shoulder and his body pressed against his in a hug. God, how sad was it that he knew that Arthur would have never hugged him in his right mind. And that he'd taken advantage of his predicament for his own benefit, prioritising his own adolescent urges over his destiny. How could he even begin to tell Arthur how he truly felt?</p><p>He knew he had to find a way to keep Arthur in Gaius's chambers indefinitely but that was impossible without harming him further. He thought back to the list and decided he could hardly make things worse at this point.</p><p>As the hug continued indefinitely, with Arthur's cabbagehead resting on his shoulder completely relaxed, Merlin reached behind him for one of the shelves and grabbed a vial, which he then promptly forced down Arthur's throat with a pinch of his nose. The prince collapsed in his arms and he carried him over to a sickbed, before getting to work on an antidote.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I'm sorry.</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Gaius returned, there were books laid all over his tables, Merlin was examining the contents of two poultices and Arthur was lying feverishly on a sickbed with a damp cloth over his forehead.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>What happened?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I had to keep him away from Uther. And Morgana.</em></p><p>There was the eyebrow.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Merlin, what have you done to the prince?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I didn't have another option! He's out of his mind. I poisoned him then administered the antidote to give him the symptoms of a fever.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>The symptoms of a fever are still a fever, Merlin. Arthur could take weeks to recover! Don't you ever think before you act?!</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Well it's hard to think when you've just been ambushed by the prince who's now suddenly desperate to sleep with you and give you flowers and gifts!</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Sounds ghastly. What about the poultices?</em></p><p>When Merlin had gone to place his new neckerchief under his pillow, he had found a poultice covered in runes of the old religion underneath it. Trying not to think of the implications of it, he had run to Arthur's chambers and found a similar poultice there and taken them both back to examine. He hadn't encountered a love poultice in person before, but his notes told him which books he had read about them in before.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Found them under Arthur's pillow. There's only a few love poultices out there, from what I could find anyway, so I'm closer to narrowing it down.</em></p><p>Gaius didn't reply, just resignedly sat down and began leafing through one of the books Merlin had left open on the table beside him. Merlin was thumbing over a treatise on the nature of love — mostly incoherent philosophy, but occasionally mentioned lists of plants and herbs he had already identified in the poultices so far. Honestly, he was sick of learning all his magic from spell-books. Would it be too much to ask for someone to just <em>explain</em> it to him? Without the riddles, or the misspellings, or the illegible writing.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>You don't think it's this one do you? With the... fluid?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>If this is Morgana's making, I can't imagine she'd want to go anywhere the prince's "crown jewels", so I doubt it. The one next to it needs a cut of Arthur's hair but he's not that deep of a sleeper.</em></p><p>(Also Merlin could always tell when Arthur's hair had changed even the slightest amount, as much as he hated to admit it.)</p><p>He took one of the books next to him and held it up to Gaius.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I think it might be this. Rose petals, nettle and bay leaf. Effect overwhelming at first, then slowly adjusts to the enchantee. Old religion, so it's probably symbolic or meaningful in some way. Nothing here about a cure, though.</em></p><p>He saw a margin note reading "cardial sins" in a scrawled hand and despaired that the scribes of the old religion didn't seem to have a good speller among them.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>And the other one?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Gooseberry leaf, holly berry and marjoram, I think. My notes say it might be in one of the other volumes of the Codex Amoris but they're all in the library. Can you keep an eye on Arthur until I get back?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Actually, I—</em></p><p>And with that, Merlin swept out of the room and charged to the library to find out what Morgana had done to him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Merlin was furious. He had asked Gaius to do one <em>very simple</em> task, to make sure that Arthur didn't leave the physician's quarters, but he found neither of them there when he returned.</p><p>His trip to the library, at least, was fruitful: his own poultice was another love spell, this one short-lasting and easily countercharmed. He was, in a way, relieved. That dream hadn't been of his own making and the short duration meant it had probably already worn off, right? He didn't perform the countercharm, because he refused to accept the possibility that he <em>could</em> be wrong and that the spell could still be active.</p><p>Would an enchanted man have poisoned his lover and then left him in the dungeons to covertly seek the advice of a dragon that was supposed to be dead? Thought not.</p><p>Arthur was in the dungeons, nonetheless. The fight had happened over dinner, while Merlin was in the library. From what Gaius gleaned from the king, Arthur had arrived feverish and rambled over the meal about his affections for his servant and furiously defended him in front of the king's typical affront to their master-servant relationship. Arthur had said some words that Merlin had wished he could have been present for, or that he could say himself without being executed on the spot, and was sent, swaying, to the dungeons until Gaius was able to vouch for his fever-induced (and poultice-induced, and poison-induced) delirium.</p><p>As Merlin walked through the woods, along his usual path, over the usual logs and under the usual branches, he was definitely not thinking about how he had been enchanted for the past two days without realising it. After all, he'd seen what had happened to Arthur — why was he able to suppress his feelings when Arthur, the king of repressed emotion, couldn't?</p><p>It didn't matter anyway because he wasn't thinking about it.</p><p>The dragon spent a solid minute laughing at Merlin once he landed. Not just a chuckle, this was the kind of laugh where a human's diaphragm would be so contracted they would barely be able to breathe without it hurting. In Kilgharrah's case, huge jets of flame launched out of his nostrils as his head fell back in mockery.</p><p>Eventually, he managed to calm himself down enough to talk.</p><p><strong>Kilgharrah</strong>: <em>Ah, young warlock. I see things have heated up between yourself and the young prince. Do not deny it, I can see the evidence of a love spell when it is in front of me.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I don't know why I came here, honestly. Can't you just give me a straight answer for once?</em></p><p>And with that, the dragon collapsed into another fit of laughter, as though he had barely been holding himself together. Merlin crossed his arms and tried his best to look entirely unamused.</p><p><strong>Kilgharrah</strong>: <em>I think a "straight" answer is highly unlikely, you gay lothario.</em></p><p>Merlin supposed he should be offended, but honestly he had no idea what the dragon was on about. Was that a reference?</p><p><strong>Kilgharrah</strong>: <em>Perhaps you could try asking me a "straight" question in the first place. Though, I should hardly think I am an expert on such matters.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>How come the love spell had such a different effect on Arthur as it did on me? Is it to do with my magic?</em></p><p><strong>Kilgharrah</strong>: <em>Your magic is indeed powerful, Merlin, but a love spell affects the seat of emotion. And to answer your question, a jug of water that is created full is no different from a jug which is later filled.</em></p><p>Merlin sighed to himself. Kilgharrah had a mirthful grin on his face which suggested that he was fully aware that he was deliberately being cryptic. One of these days, Merlin was going to snap and abuse his dragonlord powers to force him to speak directly for once. The worst part was that he was so used to these riddles that he understood exactly what the dragon had meant.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Can't I pour out the water? I don't want to be in love with him, honestly. Gwen can have him! He's arrogant, he's pompous, he's self-centred, he—</em></p><p><strong>Kilgharrah</strong>: <em>Well I see you have had many years to hide your feelings for the prince. Love is, to an extent, unpredictable, but spells and charms cannot add to what is already present, even if it is hidden.</em></p><p>He was right, as much as Merlin hated to admit it. And he would just have to live with the fact that Arthur's jug was created empty. The least he could do was try to avoid Uther disowning him, so they could still live out their destiny, albeit in a different manner to the one he had secretly dreamed about during his first year in Camelot.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>And how do I lift the enchantment on Arthur?</em></p><p><strong>Kilgharrah</strong>: <em>You already know the answer in your hearts. You have the list. Use it.</em></p><p>It looked as though the dragon was about to leave, when he turned back to Merlin and spoke again.</p><p><strong>Kilgharrah</strong>: <em>Your destiny is in safe hands, young warlock. You have nothing to fear.</em></p><p>With a flap of his wings, he soared away from his former prison and left Merlin to his thoughts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>great dragon? more like gay dragon, amirite</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. primavera veniat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Arthur's recovery from his poisoning, the love spell seems to be gone for good. But Merlin knows too much about magic to think that saving the prince would be that easy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spring, with her daffodils and rain, was fast approaching as Arthur lay recovering in his own chambers. After his initial outburst, Gaius had recommended he be sedated until the fever had passed. Merlin's role as manservant quickly transformed into a bedside carer without the need to polish armour or clean up after Arthur's mess. For the most part, he sat and watched the prince's chest rise and fall, changing the towel on his forehead every now and again.</p><p>When Uther came to visit twice a day, he would update the king on his condition. Occasionally, the king would sit down next to Merlin and they would both stare at Arthur in silence like he was the most important thing in the world. Sometimes he would open his mouth as if to speak, only to close it again and steel himself, a gesture he had seen so many times in Arthur. Merlin hated those moments where he was reminded of Uther's humanity. Where he was reminded that Uther was Arthur's father, a man misguided by love into doing unspeakable things for what he thought to be the good of his kingdom. He hated that he could relate to the genocidal tyrant who would kill him in an instant.</p><p>Above all else, Merlin felt guilty. He felt guilty that he had poisoned Arthur in the first place, guilty that he had let him kiss him, guilty that he actually enjoyed not being worked to the bone. Guilty that he enjoyed having an excuse to care for Arthur without being shoved.</p><p>He only hoped that the enchantment would be gone and it would all have been worth it.</p><p> </p><p>Gwen and Morgana returned after a week away to find Arthur conscious but bedridden. The poison had stiffened the muscles in his legs and he was still too nauseous to stand for longer than a couple of minutes, so Merlin was tasked with bringing him back up to strength. He did not speak much to anyone, but Merlin would make sure to speak for two whenever he felt like Arthur could handle it. As he spoke, he would glance at the prince's face to try to figure out how he was feeling. His expression rarely changed, but sometimes Merlin saw it as a look of shame, sometimes adoration, sometimes sadness.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>How long until he's out of bed, do you think?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Not long now. I'll be mucking out the stables in no time.</em></p><p>Gwen reached out and grabbed one of Merlin's hands and squeezed it gently. She looked him in the eye with a sympathetic gaze.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>I just can't believe it happened. How did you even know which antidote he needed?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I do pick up some things from Gaius, you know. And poisonings really aren't that rare here.</em></p><p>He scowled, thinking <em>they would be rare if you'd stop poisoning your friends</em>. First Arthur, then Morgana, then Gaius just a couple of weeks ago, now Arthur again. Gwen would be lucky to escape unscathed.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>It's okay, Merlin, it's not your fault. You did everything you could. After all, he's getting better, isn't he?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I suppose you're right, Gwen.</em></p><p>He squeezed her hand back to comfort himself, but he could still feel his body soaked with guilt and shame.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>You had two weeks of doing nothing! Honestly, Merlin, I knew you were a bad servant but you could have at least done my laundry. These tunics are drenched in sweat.</em></p><p>Merlin could barely react before a cold damp lump of cloth whacked him in the face. At least his aim was back, along with his pompous royal attitude.</p><p>He should have been relieved. After all, Arthur's prattishness had always given him an excuse to push down the love he had so skillfully hidden and, if anything, Arthur was worse now than he had been before the love spell. But when he rattled out long lists of chores to do, it wasn't with a cheeky smile like before, but with the stern look he had practised in front of the mirror for his official duties.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I wasn't doing nothing, you pompous brat. I was looking after you. You know what, it doesn't matter. I'll see you before dinner.</em></p><p>Arthur didn't reply as Merlin left the room with the rest of the laundry. As he carried it to the washing room, he thought he was glad that the love spell had been broken, but he couldn't help reminiscing about being pressed against the bedpost, and the look in his eyes as he leant forward and kissed him. <em>That wasn't Arthur</em>, he had to remind himself. <em>You did the right thing</em>.</p><p>Then again, Arthur hadn't been the same since he'd recovered. On the surface, he was back to his usual self — he trained with the knights in the morning, he would sit in council meetings, he would shower Merlin with errands to run — but he was clearly unhappy. Merlin saw the same look of shame and sadness in his eyes behind his official facade, and he was cold and indifferent to Merlin.</p><p>Before the enchantment, he would usually ask for Merlin's advice about matters from the council, or he would ramble out loud about the various options he faced as a way of helping sort out his priorities. But over the past few days, he barely spoke to Merlin other than to tell him what tasks he needed to do and to berate him for doing them ineffectively. It hurt.</p><p>He couldn't help think that it couldn't have been this <em>easy</em>. The magic of love spells usually had a meaning behind it, a purpose, like how troll enchantments can be broken by tears of remorse. What was the purpose behind a cure by poisoning? Had it caused some undocumented side effect?</p><p>His fears were proven right when he walked past Arthur's chambers and heard a quiet sobbing coming from inside. He opened the door gently (only to the point where it would usually creak) and peeked in to see Arthur curled up on his bed weeping. He had never seen the prince like this and he felt a dryness in his throat, and a throbbing guilt, at the sight.</p><p>He slowly approached the bed, like he was approaching a wild animal, with his hands up.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Arthur... are you okay?</em></p><p>Arthur sat up suddenly at the sound, his eyes blotchy and bloodshot as he tried to wipe away his tears with his sleeves.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Merlin, I'm...</em></p><p>He trailed off and started gently crying again, as though he couldn't help it, and Merlin sat down on the bed next to him. He reached out a tentative hand to his shoulder and was surprised to see Arthur shudder under it instead of pushing it away.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I'm sorry for letting you see this. I jus— I'm not good with emotions.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Arthur, what's wrong?</em></p><p>Arthur turned to face him and wiped some tears away, trying to steady his face and calm himself.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Why did you poison me?</em></p><p>Merlin's heart sank. <em>Shit</em>. <em>He wasn't supposed to remember that.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Is it because I kissed you?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Arthur, I'm sorry.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I've been trying to keep it together in front of you, but I just don't get it. How could you poison me then pretend it never happened?</em> <em>I— I trusted you. With my life.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I'm so sorry. You have to understand how sorry I am. Please don't banish me.</em></p><p>It was pathetic, but Kilgharrah had said they still had a shared destiny. He still had a duty to stand by his side, so he had to do whatever he could to make sure he could stay.</p><p>Arthur looked wounded.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>You think I could banish you?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>For poisoning you, yeah.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I love you far too much for that, Merlin. But if you want to go, I'll make sure you have everything you need. You can take your horse, I can offer you a piece of land and some compensation. You could find Gwaine, or Lancelot perhaps.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I'm not going anywhere, don't worry. And I won't be poisoning you again, I... I thought it would fix it.</em></p><p>It had always been a stab in the dark, but with Gwen away, he'd had very few other options. He could hardly poison Morgana again, he still felt guilty for the first time he had done so.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Fix what?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Don't worry, you'll be back to your usual self soon. Come with me.</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As they waited for Gaius to fetch Gwen, Merlin went over in his mind all the information he knew about the love spell Arthur was apparently still under. It hadn't gone away with the removal of the poultice, nor with his poisoning, nor with the tears he had just shed. He had correctly identified the poultice at least, now recognising its slow adaptation to Arthur's personality that had been partially masked by his recovery time. No books had mentioned a cure or countercharm, but he was sure that it must have served some specific purpose that hadn't been fully documented, why else would the spell gradually become less obvious over time?</p><p>He remembered the margin note about cardinal sins — perhaps it was some kind of a religious punishment? No, that didn't sound right either. Kilgharrah had said to use the list and that the answer was in "your hearts". Merlin just hoped this would mean that Gwen's kiss would resolve it like last time.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Are you sure it's a love spell?</em></p><p>Merlin desperately wanted to sedate him again so he wouldn't keep interrupting, but he knew it was unfair to keep him in the dark anymore.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I identified the poultice already, it must be. You must remember what it was like beforehand, right?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I suppose. But love often does come from nowhere, without warning. It still feels real to me.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>But it isn't, Arthur. This isn't you. You love Gwen and tolerate me.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I tolerate your insolence and inability to pour wine, but I've always been fond of you.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Arthur, please don't make this any harder than it already is.</em></p><p>He opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it with a flash of apologetic understanding. Merlin didn't know what he had just understood, but he hoped he wouldn't remember what it was when this was all over.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>If Gwen's kiss doesn't work, I've got that truth amulet from the vaults. This was an old religion poultice and a couple of books mentioned that some of their enchantments could be cured through confession.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Do we really need the amulet for that?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>You're under an enchantment, Arthur. You could be lying without realising it. You aren't him, as much you might feel like you are.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>And what happens to me when he comes back, huh? Do I just die?</em></p><p>Merlin hadn't thought about that before. In his defence, the previous love spells he had encountered didn't leave much room for self-awareness. This one, on the other hand, had moulded itself to Arthur over two weeks and produced a subtly changed version of his usual self.</p><p>If anything, this was more dangerous — he was <em>consciously</em> in love with Merlin, and was feeling all the burden that came with that.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I'm sorry... but I need him. I need my Arthur.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Why? Why does he get your devotion and I don't? Can't you live out your destiny with me?</em></p><p>Shit, Merlin had forgotten that this Arthur somehow knew about their destiny. He would have to note that down and see if he could find out how.</p><p>He was saved by a knock on the door as Gwen and Gaius came rushing through the door.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Gaius said you needed my help?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Do you remember when the Lady Vivian came to Camelot?</em></p><p>Gwen's face dropped. Merlin knew her stay had been particularly difficult for Gwen and it haunted her relationship with Arthur to this day.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: ...<em>and Arthur was enchanted with her?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I'm sorry, Gwen, but it's happened again.</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Arthur?</em></p><p>Arthur stood with his hands behind his back and his gaze down, as though it would hurt to meet Gwen's eye.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I'm in love with Merlin. He found a poultice of the old religion under my pillow a couple of weeks ago and briefly poisoned me in the hopes of unenchanting me. Apparently it hasn't worked.</em></p><p>Merlin was surprised. He hadn't had the heart to fully explain why he'd poisoned him yet, but he'd managed to piece the story together. He sometimes forgot how perceptive the prince could be when he wanted to be.</p><p>Gwen, on the other hand, stood in disbelief. Merlin couldn't tell if she was angry at him or not, but he knew he was angry at himself for letting it happen. To his surprise, Gwen's face softened as she stepped to Merlin and squeezed his hand.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. What do you need me to do?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Last time, with Vivian... You might need to do it again. Arthur knows this time, so it should be easier.</em></p><p>She nodded and stood up. She approached Arthur and placed a hand on his forearm. He looked up, but not at her.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Merlin, before I go... Can you look after him for me? Love him like you couldn't love me.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Of course. I'm sorry, again, for everything.</em></p><p>Arthur nodded in understanding, then looked at Gwen with what could only be described as a look of determination on his face.</p><p>Briefly, horribly, Merlin wondered if he was doing the right thing. This Arthur <em>loved</em> him for heaven's sake. And the love spell was integrated enough into his system that they could hide it for as long as they needed to, and he could still live out his destiny as the Once-and-Future King. Maybe this was fated to happen, this was what they meant when they said their destinies were intertwined.</p><p>Then he remembered that it would all be false. He would never have to question Arthur's love for him, but not because it was genuine but because it was planted there artificially by Morgana. If the spell ever did wear off, he would have lost potentially years of his life to this enchantment. Arthur would never forgive him, and he would never forgive himself.</p><p>Gwen leaned forward, cupped Arthur's neck and pressed her lips chastely against his. She lingered awkwardly, waiting for him to reciprocate. Merlin saw her move her body closer to his and couldn't help but be reminded of his own kiss with Arthur two weeks earlier which had been playing on repeat in his mind every night, even after his own love spell had worn off.</p><p>After a few seconds, she withdrew. But Merlin could see that Arthur's face hadn't changed at all. He looked despondently at Gwen, then at Merlin. Gwen stepped back.</p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>So, I take it that didn't work. Am I not his true love anymore then?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>No! You are, Gwen, I swear. I don't think a true love's kiss always works, I'm sorry. Love spells are super complicated. We have a back-up, don't worry.</em></p><p><strong>Gwen</strong>: <em>Should I leave then?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Please stay. He'll want to see you when he's back.</em></p><p>He gave her a meagre grin and she politely smiled back, but he could tell she wasn't convinced. Gaius pulled Merlin aside and whispered.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>I wonder... with your destiny... Would it be a terrible idea for someone else to try to break the spell?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>It doesn't work.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>How would you know? You haven't —</em></p><p>Merlin knew Gaius could see the sheepish look on his face. He glanced up at Arthur and back again.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Merlin, how could you?! He's under an enchantment, it's not right to take advantage of that.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>He kissed <strong>me</strong>, alright! I broke it off as soon as it started. But I'm not his true love, if that's what you were thinking.</em></p><p>Gaius tutted and turned his attention back to the awkward couple, neither of whom knew what to do with their faces, hands or bodies.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Should I get the amulet then?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>If you'd be so kind. You're much more helpful than he is, I must admit.</em></p><p>He regretted saying it as soon as it came out of his mouth. But Arthur's frown finally disappeared, replaced with a soft, bittersweet smile.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>He's a lucky man. I just wish he knew it.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Ha, I wish he did too.</em></p><p>Arthur picked the amulet, connected to a chain, up off the table and, with a deep breath, placed it over his head like a necklace.</p><p>At once, it looked as though he had woken up with a start.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Oh, this is weird. I thought I'd forget everything, but I haven't.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>You haven't?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>I just said that, Merlin. Are your ears stuffed with cotton?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I guess you're back then.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Honestly Merlin, you should be glad I don't execute you for treason. Poisoning the prince?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>You're the one who tried to sleep with me. Can you really blame me?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>No, I can't blame you. I'm grateful that you didn't take advantage of me, a lesser man might have.</em></p><p>After thinking about it for so long, Merlin was incredibly relieved to hear that he had made the right choices. He still needed to be sure that the truth amulet was working, and to get some kind of confession out of him.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Do you still love me?</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Yes.</em></p><p>He started, as if the words weren't his own.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>Oh, I didn't mean to say that. I don't want to kiss you or anything, but I guess I do love you as a friend. Not that I would ever tell you that if I didn't have this blasted amulet on.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I don't deserve your love, Arthur.</em></p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>You're right, you deserve much better than me.</em></p><p>As soon as he finished speaking, Arthur slumped to the floor unconscious. Merlin rushed over to pick him up. Gwen helped grab his legs and they lifted him into a sickbed. Looking at him lying there, unconscious for the third and final time, Merlin couldn't help but lean in to Arthur's ear.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong> (whispering): <em>I love you too, idiot.</em></p><p>A sparkling blue cloud rose out of Arthur's mouth and dissipated slowly in the air. It smelt like lavender and bay and just a tiny bit like the stables.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>You might need to update your list. We know a lot more about confession in the old religion now.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>What do you mean?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Well, the spell needed you to confess, too. Your love. For each other.</em></p><p>Merlin paused and looked down at his stew. He was trying to forget Arthur's reaction when he found out he'd been enchanted with Merlin. It was safe to say he wasn't charmed anymore and that his memories of the entire fortnight had now gone. They had all decided beforehand to tell him that Gwen's kiss undid the charm, hoping he wouldn't notice that he hadn't been left unconscious last time.</p><p>As she had left the room after Arthur, Gwen mouthed <em>I'm sorry</em> to Merlin, but he couldn't think why she would be sorry. This was right, this was how things were supposed to be. And if he couldn't have Arthur, then he would absolutely make sure Gwen did.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Right, yeah. I suppose that makes sense. And "wingless" would be because we hadn't said it before?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Unspoken confessions of love. And what did you say that margin note said?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>"Cardial sins". I thought it was a spelling mistake.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>I think it was a joke — sins of the heart. Probably a spell for couples in difficulty. Help them patch things up until they truly love each other again.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>That would explain why the spell adapted, it gives them a chance to sort things out rationally.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Mm-hmm.</em></p><p>He couldn't help but feel sorry for the other Arthur. He knew how it felt to love unrequitedly, and he couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to be callous and ride off into the sunset with his prince.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Is it bad that I was considering staying with him?</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>My boy, you made the right decision. This Arthur, your Arthur, he loves you too. The amulet proved it. He just has a harder time showing it.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>He doesn't love me like I love him.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Merlin, I don't think anyone loves anyone like you love Arthur. You should be grateful you still have each other. Your bond is far stronger than most couples I've ever seen. You don't need romantic love to be complete.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>It would be nice, though.</em></p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Indeed it would. I'm just glad you didn't try to cure it through consummation. These walls are pretty thin, you know.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Gaius! That was for druidic marriage spells anyway. It was an absolute last resort.</em></p><p>Gaius raised his eyebrow, because of course he did.</p><p><strong>Gaius</strong>: <em>Sure. But I seem to remember there being two poultices...</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Morgana had been back from her holiday for a week and Merlin was still there. Sneaky rat. <em>I bet he poisoned Arthur too</em>, she thought. <em>That boy has absolutely no loyalty</em>. Once the prince had recovered from his fever, she had seen him act icily towards Merlin for a few days, much to her concealed joy. Then all of a sudden, Gaius had summoned Gwen and they were exactly how they used to be.</p><p>She saw them smiling at each other during training, Merlin even more enamoured than before, she thought with venom. At dinner, Merlin continued to be insolent and useless and Arthur pretended to be outraged at him. In council meetings, Merlin would still fall asleep and she would still see the glint in Arthur's eye as he watched him snore.</p><p>It had been a few days since Gwen had been summoned and Morgana was once again watching Merlin on the courtyard steps from afar. This time he was sat with Arthur (with much more space between them than with Gwaine, she noticed), and they were speaking with long glances at each other's faces. Merlin produced a deep blue fabric from his breeches to show to Arthur, who looked over it in disbelief before gleefully shoving Merlin into a headlock. She decided to leave, but as she walked past she could hear a snippet of their conversation.</p><p><strong>Arthur</strong>: <em>...had good taste, I'll give him that.</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>In more ways than one...</em></p><p> </p><p>Later that day, she was walking along the corridors towards the vaults on a mission for Morgause when she saw Merlin approaching from in front, with a large grin on his face.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>Ah, Morgana. I've been looking for you.</em></p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: ...<em>You have?</em></p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>I wanted to return something to you. And to thank you, for being an ally.</em></p><p>She scoffed.</p><p><strong>Morgana</strong>: <em>An ally? Why would I be an ally to you, traitor?</em></p><p>In response, Merlin produced the fabric of the two poultices she had fashioned, covered in the runes of her own hand. She snatched them up.</p><p><strong>Merlin</strong>: <em>You helped us realise some things. I am forever in your debt.</em></p><p>He bowed gently, before walking gaily past her, sliding his fingers over the soft, deep blue fabric with delicate gold embroidery around his neck.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>supportive!gwen is my favourite thing ever</p><p>the intended reading is platonic and canon-compliant bc I love gay-straight m/m solidarity, but I left it slightly ambiguous so you're welcome to reach your own conclusions :))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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